Being Plus Size


This post will probably be hard for me to write. But this post might reach someone that needs to know that they aren't alone.

I wasn't always 'bigger' in primary school I was stick thin, to the point that it worried my parents at time, but around year 3/4 (Aged 8) I started putting on weight my eating habits had not changed. I went from being one of the smallest in the class to one of the biggest. Fast forward to today and not much has changed, out of my group of friends I am the biggest and come to think of it I am the only plus size out of them, so it makes it harder to talk to any of them about anything weight related. Things like going group shopping is a thing I find myself avoiding as I know I'll leave places empty handed because either I wont be able to find bigger sizes in the stores they like or the fact I personally don't like trying clothes on in the changing rooms. 

Talking about my weight with others is just an issue I rather not address and avoid at all costs. As I feel no matter what the other person is saying to me I feel like they are judging me. When it comes to my friends I don't think they quite know how insecure I am about being the biggest. From small things like not liking taking group pictures so I don't see myself standing out as the biggest, so I've made myself the designated photographer so I can avoid being in pictures. Or dressing in a way to avoid drawing attention to me so I constantly wear darker colours.

I have just recently started stepping out of my comfort zone when it comes to how I dress becoming more confident to try clothing I used to find daring. I truly am grateful that the media is changing and is starting to portray beauty in all shapes and sizes. It's helping more and more people including myself realise that they are beautiful just as they are. 

I have had people 'close' to me say I need to lose weight in order to be beautiful. That the reason I am single is because of how big I am, that no one would love someone that's my size. No matter what size you are there will be people to criticise, it's up to you and only you to make you happy no matter what size you are.

I am working at being happy with who I am and no one can make me feel any type of way about myself. I'm not here to please anyone are conform to what society deems as normal. I'm just going to be me. 

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